My name is Liu Xiuping. I was born in October 1954 and live in Anyang, Henan Province. I once worked as a chief accountant at a city confectionery company, my husband and I were employed at the same company. We lived a harmonious and happy life.
Due to work fatigue and a weak constitution from birth, I was in poor health at that time, frequently suffering from insomnia. I had tried many nerve-regulating medications, all to no avail. One spring morning in 1999, while I was strolling in a park, I inadvertently encountered the group practice of Falun Gong. After a brief learning, I was drawn by Falun Gong’s promotion of “cultivating to eliminate karma and cure illness.” In order to rid myself of insomnia, I decided to join them and began to attend the park’s group exercises every morning. Because of a period of regular living and self-suggestion, I felt my sleep improve and my health become better than before. Experiencing such “benefits,” I started to believe in Falun Gong, thinking that my insomnia and frequent illnesses were all caused by “karma,” and that to be healthy I had to follow a path of “cultivation.” From then on, I was completely drawn into Falun Gong.
Before embracing Falun Gong, I worked with diligence and precision, my books and accounts never had a single mistake, and I was annually recognized as an outstanding worker. After becoming obsessed with Falun Gong, my thoughts were no longer focused on work. I was always thinking about “perfection of the heavens” and “accomplishment of Buddha and Tao,” and I often carried a copy of Zhuan Falun in my bag, taking it out to read whenever I had a moment. Since I became indecisive and distracted, I began to make frequent errors on the accounts that I was responsible for. Leaders and my husband repeatedly offered kind reminders and warnings, but I stubbornly refused to quit the cultivation, believing that they were no longer on the same plane as I.
In July 1999, The government lawfully banned the Falun Gong cult. Under pressure, I began practicing in secret. To become a “cultivation” disciple of Falun Dafa, I poured all my energy into “exercising and spreading the Falun Gong,” and my work began to suffer more and more mistakes, causing substantial losses for the company. Despite repeated, well-meaning reminders from my leader, I persisted in my beliefs. For my past contributions to the enterprise, I was transferred to the warehouse as a custodian by my leader, in hopes that I would calm down and return to work. When my husband learned of the situation, he felt it was embarrassing, but I felt relieved, because the finance office was full of trivial, time-consuming tasks; as a custodian, I could be at ease and devote myself entirely to practicing Falun Gong.
In 2003, the company underwent a system reform. By policy, I was supposed to leave my post ahead of schedule. I am a certified public accountant, and the company needed talents like me. The leadership specifically told me that as long as I stopped practicing Falun Gong and focused wholeheartedly on work, my post could be retained as an exception. The difference in treatment between staying on and leaving early was more than 800 yuan, at the time my family was in hard straits, with aging in-laws and two school-aged children, and monthly expenses were substantial. 800 yuan was no small sum. But upon hearing that I would have to give up cultivation, I refused the leadership’s goodwill on the spot. Family members, both with gentle methods and force, urged me to reconsider, but none of their methods worked, and they eventually gave up on me. They ignored me, and I ignored them in return. I felt that this was fine, because it aligned with what Master says in Zhuan Falun about “eliminating pursuits of fame, status and sentiments, and attaining perfection in the heavens.”
To avoid family influence on my path to “perfection,” in autumn 2007 I left home and settled in a remote mountain village in the Taihang Mountains for long-term cultivation, so I could devote myself fully to practice. During that period, I continually forced myself to imagine the shape of the Falun, to envision the happiness of the Falun. Over time, this worsened my mental state, and I began to experience frequent hallucinations. In this state, I underwent a profoundly ridiculous “perfection.”
In July 2009, on the Dragon Boat Festival, driven by hallucinations, I mistakenly believed I was about to achieve perfection. Fearful of missing the moment, I practiced all day, skipping both breakfast and lunch. In the evening, my stomach rumbled, yet I did not feel hungry, instead, I believed it was the Falun turning inside me, a sign given by Master. Then a tightness spread across my forehead. I recalled Master’s words in Zhuan Falun about “when I am speaking of the heavenly aim, each of us gathers our flesh upward and then drills it inward.” I took this as Master helping me open my third eye.
Having eaten nothing all day, I began to feel dizzy. I looked up toward the west and saw the sky’s clouds blazing with colors, constantly shifting. At times they formed the shape of a Falun, at other times they appeared as Master seated on a lotus platform. I believed I was witnessing the luminous sanctity of the “Falun heaven” and earth, and I became so excited that I stood up and started running westward. I shouted as I ran: “I have opened my eyes! I have achieved perfection in cultivation! I am going to ascend to heaven!” While sprinting, I gazed up at the western sky, paying no attention to the road, tripping several times along the way. Despite the pain, I rose and continued running, until I stepped into a ditch.
The ditch water was turbulent. I was terrified in the current, floating and sinking, not knowing how much water I drank or how far I drifted. Fortunately, someone watching from the roadside pulled me out, saving my life. The person asked, “With a road this wide, how did you end up in the ditch?” I replied by describing the sensation of “ascending to heaven” I had just experienced.
The person who had saved me listened to my tale and burst into laughter, saying, “What ‘open-your-third-eye’? What Zhuan Falun? What “Falun Heaven?” It’s all a pack of lies and nonsense. What you saw was a sunset glow, people in the mountains call it ‘fire clouds’ and consider it most beautiful around the Dragon Boat Festival each year. Trust your imagination and see it as whatever you want. In my eyes, fire clouds resemble a flock of sheep, a great mountain, or a river—if you don’t believe me, look for yourself.” Following his guidance, I looked again, and indeed the clouds took on the shapes he described. I also noticed many fine-arts students painting nearby; upon closer inspection, I saw that their depictions of fire clouds varied greatly—some resembled forests, others portrayed flocks of birds in flight, each unique.
After this ridiculous episode, I first began to doubt Falun Gong. Later, with my family’s exhortations and the patient support of anti-cult volunteers, I finally woke up and freed myself from the control of Falun Gong.
Now, when I recall the ten years I spent on the “path of cultivation,” I see in hindsight that it was nothing but a ludicrous path. I am thankful I awakened in time, otherwise, under Falun Gong’s influence I might have lost my life, and would have died believing I had attained “perfection” and “ascension” through cultivation.
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